Seriously… Can we get an option on OkCupid to flag form letters? Let’s kick THOSE members off the god damn site.
SO STUPID!
Susan in Virginia sends this submission in and the form letter is… buh. It’s so painfully obvious that this dolt sends this to every girl he wants to talk to.
“Well my name is ray an IM full Italian,I was born an lived in new York for 15.years.Im the type of man who shows his woman respect,charm,romance e,loyal.Well at the age of 15 i taught myself how to draw,i love to draw eagles,roses,fantasy ,people,dragons.I just started working with oil paints an it brings the art more alive.I would like to capture your beauty on painting an let you see what beauty i see for you through my eyes.I like all types of music an movies but i do have my favor movies is an American werewolf in London an for music it is papa roach.Im also the type of man who likes to cook a woman a nice candle light dinner an give her a dozen roses.There is something very special about me that you cant get from know other man on the planet.This is a drawing of a rose but its not just any rose it repersents all the beauty,caring,love for that woman.This will never die or lose its beauty an will grow till the end of time.This is how i will capture the love an beauty for the woman i really ..love.Im.. Not like all other men im looking for that special woman to capture her beauty an watch it grow till the end of ..time.So.. if you are looking for a man like this please get back to me an will see how it goes.One more thing you are a beautiful woman an don’t let anyone tell you any different as. My yahoo id is italianstalion2002 so add me if you want to chat “
I  mean, JESUS. If you’re going to drop a form letter countless times into a lady’s inbox (no, that’s not a euphemism for something else, though, I think I’m onto something there), wouldn’t you think that after you’ve seen the same body of text over and over and over that you might catch your typos? Spelling mistakes? What’s he got against the spacebar??
So are you ready to see this “Italian Stallion”?
I’m thinking something like this:
Well, ciao bello. (This picture was NOT from a personal ad, but from a google search so it’s OKAY THAT HE’S SHIRTLESS.)
I mean seriously… Nom nom nom.
*ahem*
Or, perhaps you were expecting something like this:
So, um… Yea, less my speed but this dude looks like he’s ACTUALLY in Italy maybe… And ACTUALLY Italian in a sports-cars-and-unbuttoned-shirt-with-chain-European kind of way.
At the VERY least, you’d expect someone using the moniker ItalianStallion would resemble the original Italian Stallion:
Nice panky-rang.
Maybe more like this:
I’m trying here, guys. I really am.
But no, this guy looks nothing like what you’d expect.
Oh guys… *sigh* So misleading.
And he’s so endearing in his profile!
My Self-Summary
well my name is ray an im in search of a good woman so i cant treat real good too.im the type of man who treats a woman with respect but for that special woman i will treat with charm,romance.
What I’m doing with my life
im trying to find the right woman out there so i can achive anything i want an she will be right there behind me.
I think they mean like… What are you doing with your life in terms of like… your job, your hobbies, etc. This isn’t where you list that you’re desperately hunting for a woman who will follow behind you.
The rest of his profile is just… sad. And hard to understand.
I’m going to go pout and look at the hot dude with the ripple-y abs and glistening happy trail.
