The finale to Saturday’s installment of The Art Of The Email is pretty predictable, I think… But it’s still funny. If you didn’t read it, you should go take care of that right now.
It’s okay. I’ll wait here until you come back.
…
We good? All caught up? Okay.
Him:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:28pm
Gosh I cant believe you would say something like that about yourself. I just wish there were more women out there that can take comments in a more positive light! I said that to you because you looked like a free spirited open minded person.
Me:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:31pm
Clearly, you’re retarded.
Him:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:33pm
Well gosh…so you call yourself a retard then include me too? Thanks. I have a button for you, its called block. So watch your mouth young lady.
Watch MY mouth? Dude… Ha! Really? And thanks for the… button? I’ll be sure to stick in on my messenger bag next to The Bad Religion pin and that one that I made that one time at the Sanrio store.
Also, a side note: joker is younger than me and calling me YOUNG LADY. I just wanna snatch his stupid ass up by his ear and drag him to his room, throw his ass on the bottom bunk of his bunk bed and ground his ass. AND take away your xbox, junior!
Me:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:34pm
Watch my mouth??? hahahahahahahahah
Seriously, I’m still laughing. That’s quite possibly one of the most hilarious things ever.
Him:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:36pm
Why the HAHAHA?Are you really the say whats on your mind kinda girl?
Me:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:40pm
Excerpts from my profile:“I am sarcastic, a ball-buster, and foul mouthed”
“I also look a lot more wholesome than I am — people are often surprised to hear how easily ‘fuck’, ‘cunt’ and other such colorful words just fall right out of my mouth. Woops.”
Did you even READ my profile?
You’re not smart enough for me to explain why you’re a retard and I’m not at all interested in dating you, so I’m done with this email exchange dude.
Him:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:47pm
Aww so your upset that you exchanged emails and this guy didnt even read your profile.So you have tourettes? I can get you medication to treat that.
The only thing that I noticed was that your a fat ass. So why bother reading anything else? Your not even hot. But what can you do when theres nothing on TV.
You can call me a retard all you want. At the end of the day, I’ll be making more money than you!
He did at least view my profile, but I can’t comment as to whether or not he actually READ my profile. My guess, based on the seriously eloquent first email, is that he looked at my pictures, deemed me “hot enough” to email and fired one off, likely, the same email to all the ladies he contacted on Saturday night, trying to find himself a date. Funny though because my theory directly contradicts his “fat ass” comment about me being someone that isn’t even hot. Hm… I wonder who got it right here, me or him?
And of course you’re going to make more money than me! Um, you’re a man. I’m a woman. This is just simple (infuriating) common sense. The amount of money doesn’t make you more desirable to me, honey. Sorry.
Him:
Jun. 12, 2010 – 6:56pm
I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings? Can we go back to a normal conversation now?
He couldn’t even wait ten minutes before trying again. And, um… Did I miss the normal conversation? Were we HAVING ONE? Exactly how many women did you get turned down by, offend or run off in the last ten minutes?
Aaaand, again, him:
hi
Jun. 12, 2010 – 8:54pm
hi u still pissed?
Ohh… Damn. Looks like the final count of women that he ran off was… [calculating] All of them.
Dipshit. Hope you enjoyed wankin’ yer junk alone while you watched free porn on your computer on a Saturday night.
