…the most uninteresting man in the world.
Talk about a snooze fest.
Picture This… (central montco)
Picture this… a cabin in the woods… up in the mountains. There’s about ten inches of snow on the ground. It’s chilly outside… perfect cuddling weather.
We’ll be sipping red wine in front of the roaring fire… (It’s good for your cholesterol). With my right hand I gently massage the back of your head, where all of the tension builds up… it feels good, doesn’t it? I’ll slowly work my way down to your neck and shoulders… relieving all of the stress and getting your blood flowing again. then your lower back… eventually I start massaging your thigh… your inner thigh. After working my way down to your ankles, I massage each of your toes… individually. Then I run my tongue up the back of your leg, sending a pleasant, enjoyable chill down your spine.
By this time, the hot tub is full… we’ll hop in (wearing bathing suits, of course)… and just lie there, in each other’s arms… sipping champaign… The thrust from the jacuzzi jets stimulate every part of your body. We just lie there staring up at our reflections in the mirror on the ceiling, while the mirrors on the walls get steamed up because of the heat from the hot tub.
Then it’s off to the shower to cool off… we’ll stand there (still in our bathing suits) while the multi-head shower cools us down. I’ll reach over and grab a bottle of shampoo from the shelf… then I’d lather up your gorgeous hair… lovingly caressing your scalp. Feels good, doesn’t it?
After rinsing… we’d dry off in the largest, thickest terri-cloth towel you have ever seen. Then it’s off to bed (wearing pajamas, of course) where we cuddle under a nice warm thick down comforter… with the sound of the wind in the background as it beats against the side of the cabin… and the gentle crackling of the fire as it dies down, lulling us to sleep.
Sounds like fun?
Fun? Maybe if I was a celibate nun hanging out with her brother and we both had …. issues. Can we have matching swimsuits that we wear in the jacuzzi and the shower together? Synchronized straddling of the jets?
On second thought, this sounds a lot like a kidnapping scenario. Unibomber takes hostage. <shudder>
Also, motherfucker…. If I have such gorgeous hair, it’s not dependent solely on genetics. You’ve got to CONDITION that shit. Don’t just shampoo man. Haven’t you ever had your hair washed at a salon? This right here shows me that you’ve never showered with a woman.
Although, I should thank him. It’s hot as balls in Atlanta right now and for a brief moment, I was happy picturing a big fucking snow storm blasting through Atlanta and cooling us all down.
