Jami: Man, that’s a lot of capital letters in that title. Guess who’s baaack?
PC: Is it me?  Am I back?  I feel like I’m back.  Of course, with Jami harassing me to end my sabbatical, I kinda had to come back.
Jami: Today, we’re focusing our attention on one of my favorite Wreck Targets: The Old Guy. I know, you’re going to think I’m ageist or something and maybe I am… I don’t know. I mean, generally I love old people! It’s when they try to start dating that the water gets muddy.
PC: And speaking as the resident old guy in the room, wait, what was I gonna say?  I forget.
I am planning the ultimate road trip sell everything live in RV for this spring in search of true love.
Jami: Really? The ultimate road trip? Looks like the set of a horror film if you ask me.
PC: Apparently his true love is hitching on a back road in Schenectady.
Jami: It doesn’t even look like it’s sitting straight! He doesn’t look heavy enough to make a freakin’ RV lean, right? Does it have four tires?
PC: Momma’s driving.  They just came from Sizzler.
Don’t know where the feelings come from doing this
Jami: I think what you’re feeling there is a full diaper, sweetie. It’s either that or pangs of pathetic desperation.
PC: That there is what you call a six.  That’s a tutu, plus a number two.
Jami: WITH A MUSTACHE! I don’t even know a person who would dress their baby like this, even if they HATED their baby.
Hey everyone nice to meet you I an unemployed at the moment so here I am. I am in a bad marriage so that is why I am here. I am jewish and very horny. I love sex.
Jami: I’ve actually got nothing mean to say about this nice gentleman.
PC: I do.  Why couldn’t we legalize prostitution in America for this poor soul?  If not, why couldn’t we have legalized abortion 57 years ago?
I’m great with a razor and shaved off a lot of pubic hair…
Jami: Um, file this under “Things I really didn’t need to know.”
PC: No, file this under Chuck Norris wannabe holding a Super 8 and a WetNap.
Jami: Can you imagine hiking through that shit with day-three stubble on your lady lips or your little boys?!?
I was born and raised in Amarillo, TX.
PC: Hef has really let himself go.  Wait, never mind.  This guy barbecued and ate Hef.
Jami: I don’t know, I’m getting a pretty distinct Hogan vibe here. Totally looks like Brooke, right?
PC: Hogan?  Looks more like Schultz.
I’m a Vagi-terian
PC: Looks like a private dick from the 1930s.  Or just a dick.
Jami: I bet he hasn’t had a vajiner since the 1930s.
I’m an enrolled member of the Oglala Sioux Tribe Pine Ridge Reservation South Dakota. The question really is can I scalp you or have you nothing there to scalp
PC: If the two guys from CHiPs had a love child, it would be this guy.  Heavy on the Eric Estrada.
Jami: I thought you were gonna say, “Heavy on the orange.” There’s no way this is a natural native american glow man…
PC: White man dump nuclear waste on reservation.
it is my turn to CREAM fill you like a DONUT…
PC: If that’s his pickup line, then he’s probably holding his hand up to deflect the inevitable slap.
Jami: At his age, it’s kind of like stinky fancy cheese, right?
my favorite authors are steven king and dean koontz
PC: And when you buy the Lonely Bachelor Edition Trailer Package, you get mismatched furniture – standard.  American flag afghan – standard.  Painted canoe paddle over the front door – standard.  Copy of The Anarchist’s Cookbook – standard.  Stuffed dingo on the end table – oh, you know that’s standard.
Jami: OMG! You know who else loves Dean Koontz?! I’m also really digging the pine-trim on the couch.
my favorite movie is spiderman.
PC: This is such a cornucopia of wrongness, I don’t know where to begin.
Jami: I’m just glad that beer can is IN FRONT of him and not behind him.
PC: There’s no slowing down with the Silver Bullet tonight.
Jami: Also, when did it become okay to wear a banana hammock that was thin enough that you could see the outline of the HEAD OF YOUR PENIS!?? DUDE. There are CHILDREN at this pool.
My nickname is Eckie so come absorb the Eckie and email me.
PC: What’s that you say?  You’re both bald AND hairy?  Well then go with the bright purple tank top, by all means.
Jami: His name is… Icky? Did I hear that correctly? That bookshelf makes me sad.
PC: That bookshelf makes me nervous.  The only thing holding it up is force of habit.
Seeking intelligent life
PC: Try not to notice the white spot on his forehead.  And in the corner of his eye.  And on his upper lip.  And on the door casing.  And running down his shoulder.
Jami: I’m pretty sure he’d take anything that was just alive. Erm… I don’t know, maybe something blow-uppy, too.
You should message me if you want me to play with you
Jami: Horrifying. Absolutely, positively scary.
PC: He wants to play Hide and Seek.  Guess where he hid it?
Jami: [sob]
Your pussy is getting so wet.U feel something else tickling your clit…Not quite sure what…It’s a mustache
Jami: Oh, your hands are working so furiously that, oh… Oh! What’s this? Something hard in your hands… Not quite sure what… Oh, it’s a god damned masturbation callous.
PC: Shouldn’t he be wearing diving goggles?
Jami: This guy is also a self-professed “Hero of Oral Sex.” A HERO, people. Somebody give him the keys to the clitty.
PC: Jami, did you ever know that you’re my hero?
