Exhibit B: Take a shit on my chest
Take a shit on my chest! – m4w – 50 (Grant/Stone)
I am looking for a cute, petite young girl to come over for some coffee and a chat and then take a dump on my chest. NSA, no sex, no other interaction or physical activities are required. I will feed you prior to the dump, BBQ and lots of cornbread. Serious replies only please!
This is so clearly fake.
If he REALLY wanted you to shit on his chest, he wouldn’t leave out the baked beans.
Stupid ass posers.
Can you imagine how he’s picturing this in his head?
DING DONG.
“Oh, yes. Hello you young sexy kitten. Please, do come in.”
She gives a demure look. We hear her stomach gurgling. (Don’t worry, that’s just the laxatives working.)
“Can I interest you in come coffee?”
“Why yes. Thank you. That should help with the whole shitting on your chest thing.”
“Right, then… Well, let me get you some barbeque and we can get on with it.”
If it’s possible, this is a creepier version of The Continental. And that’s saying something, man.
I am cooking, lonely, and creepier than Christopher Walken.
And just because I couldn’t figure out where else to fit this in, a farting sound effect.
