Did the distance make your hearts grow fonder, kids? God, it’s been nearly a week since I’ve posted. The good news: you guys still kept reading! Maybe this has forced some of you reluctant lazy-bones to dig through the archives, eh? Also, thanks for the metric ton of submissions. No doubt, if these were paper letters rather than emails, my mailman would be sporting a sweaty brow and a stern frown as he tossed a big canvas duffel, old-fashioned-movie-star-fan-club style up on my stoop.
So, the hardest part about coming back after a break is that you’ve really got to pick a post that will pack a punch and what better way to pack the punches that surprise cock!? How about surprise cock with a side of shit-sandwich snide asshole?
Question for the ladies about giving head… – m4w – 24 (north seattle)
I’m wondering how good any of you females out there think you actually are at giving head. I’ve gotten head from a good share of females of all different types, race, age, etc and most of them just suck dick at sucking dick… Only one girl has ever actually been able to make me cum with just a blowjob. I’ve got a theory though, I think men just lie to you about how good you are at it. I think most men just figure if they tell you you’re great at it, you’ll be more inclined to go down, whereas if we tell you that you are terrible at it you’ll get butt hurt and not want to do it anymore.
So the scenario I’m guessing is that when you first started giving head, it took you a few goes at it to do a decent job, then guys just started telling you how great you were so you stopped trying to do it better. To be fair even when it’s bad it still feels good, it’s just frustrating to know how much better it could be.
I guess I’m just trying to figure out if all of you have just been lied to, or if I am just abnormally hard to blow. Just in case it’s relevant my dick is 8 inches long and fairly thick (an actual 8 inches, not a craigslist 8″)
Anyway, just wondering what your thoughts are on this. Also, here’s a pic to supplement the description.
Did he take this dick picture in the university library?!
Oh really? This is where I’m supposed to get all INSECURE about my beej’in ‘bilities, right? And I’m supposed to be over here, wringing my hands, thinking of all the men who’ve left me in the lurch because… why? Well, thank to you, oh Good Samaritan of Craigslist, I know why.
It’s probably because I suck at giving head. But you want to talk about it, right? We can just talk, right? Ohh… I see. You want to TEACH me how to give a good blow job. Gawsh, how very generous of you! WhatEVER did I do to deserve this act of shilvery!? How can I ever–gag-mmmfffphlubmmmpppp-gag.
Now, if your theory is true, then there’s an ARMY of bird-darting, tongue-tipping dudes out there thinking they’re pleasing their lady’s pussy with their flicking and pecking motions, right? (I’ve only ever run into THREE in all my years of sluttin’ it up pre-baby-mama and all the slutty years post-baby-mama. *ahem* Shut up.)
Also, this is where I just want to kick the porn industry in the cunt — THE OBJECT OF ORAL SEX IS NOT TO MAKE THE DUDE EJACULATE. Â It’s just not. Ejaculation should come after — well after — a lengthy period of time wherein one or both parties have worked themselves up to a panting-breathing pattern and maybe have a sexy shimmer of sweat on their skin.
If a dude says to me, “I’ve never come from a blow job before.” I just chuckle and want to pat him on his little stupid head because I’m thinking, “Not with that attitude.” Hell no, I’m not working hard if that’s the point!
Do you order a $25 steak, seasoned and cooked perfectly so that you can hork it all down in one big bite? Or do you blend it up into a drink so that you can slurp it down quickly? Hell no… You savor. You take small bites. You might stop eating steak altogether and go have some mashed potatoes for a spell and then come back to the steak.
Oral sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing. But I’m telling you kid, a post like this isn’t going to get you any extra dick-in-the-mouth. All those “stupid” guys who keep praising their girlfriends and wives for the attention they get, they’re the ones that keep.getting.head. Get it?
Also, is it just me or does it totally look like he took this picture in the fucking university library or something? Ugh. What a shame. As far as surprise cock pics go, you know… Meh. At least it’s not shiny and weirdly shaped.
