Before I get started here, I want to clarify with everyone that I am in fact, a short person — not a little person, really… But I’m only like 2-3″ away from getting a handicapped tag for my car.
That being said, because I am also a very short person, I think this gives me appropriate licence to make fun of this… little person. Disclaimer over.
BLACK MIDGET FROM NY NEEDS A SUGA MAMA…ASAP/TEMP…PLZ READ – 24
HEY LADIES THIS IS YOUR BOY ELIJAH FROM NY IM 24 HANDSOME OUTGOING VERY FUNNY AND LOVE TO DO ALL TYPES OF ACTIVITIES….WELL IM IN NEED OF A LITTLE HELP I NEED SOME ONE TO HELP ME REPLACE MY PHONE AND HELP ME GET TO ATL,,,I HAD OVER 23000 IN MY ACCOUNT IT ALL WAS TAKING…I HAVE DOCUMENTS TO PROVE IT…IM A ENTERTAINER/DANCER/STRIPPER/ACTOR….MY IPHONE WAS ROBBED AND THINGS WENT BAD…I WAS SUPPOSE TO MOVE TO ATL IN OCTOBER BUT IT DONT LOOK THAT WAY IM ASKING ANY LADIES OUT THERE TO HELP I NEED A PHONE ASAP AND I WILL KEEP IN CONTACT I WONT RUN UP NO BILL OR DO NO SUCH THING….WHEN I MOVE OUT THERE…IN MY FIRST YEAR I WILL BE MAKEING OVER 100K SO I WILL PAY WHICH EVER NICE WOMEN VERY SOON…IM A MIDGET SO THERES A HI-DEMAND FOR ME…..I HONESTLY JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP…IF SOMEONE HELPS ME ALL I ASK FOR AT THE MOMENT IS TO HELP ME GET A PHONE I STILL HAVE PPL THAT CALL ME FOR DIFFRENT EVENTS AND WHO WANNA BOOK ME………..IM NOT GIVING UP BECUZ I KNOW I WILL STILL MAKE IT…IM NOT GONNA QUITE…IF YU CANT LADIES ITS KOOL….HAVE A BLESSED DAY
Seriously… I could NOT make this stuff up. My biggest question is, “Where do you bank little man?” Because I want to be REAL sure that I don’t have an account there. Seriously? $23,000 just DISAPPEARED?! How… unfortunate.
Tell you what, WeeBro. I’m'a hook you up with one of those prepaid phones for $20 that I see at the gas station all the time. And you know, then you can put minutes on it with all the money you’re going to earn entertaining. (I’m entertained by this, aren’t you?)
When you have enough money saved up, give me a ring on that phone I got for you and I’ll help you figure out which one of your fingers will help you hitchhike to Atlanta.
And THEN! When we finally get to meet, WeeBro, I’m'a kick you in the nuts.
Are you fucking serious? What kind of lap dance are you going to be able to offer as a midget stripper? I am NOT googling that because I am getting ready to go make dinner and I’d like to keep my appetite. You guys, feel free. I know, for me, at 4′ 11 3/4″ (FUCK YOU – the 3/4″ counts asshole and yea, so what if it’s really probably more like a 1/2″ — I’M ROUNDING UP!), a lap dance is impossible unless I’m wearing stripper heels.
Are YOU going to wear stripper heels? Now that sounds like the kind of dancer that would be in high demand. A cross-dressing, black midget. The Clermont Lounge is calling you, baby. C’mere.
Thanks to JD at Shirt or Dress for this submission. Atlanta is CRAZY!
