who wants it – m4w – 33 (se)

who wants it i can host

THE PICTURE

Now, you should know ahead of time, all of you scaredy cats that aren’t going to click on the link, if you make mention of it in the comments, I will THUMB YOU DOWN!

DO it! It’s hilarious. How often do you get to see a half-inflated, rightward leaning boneless… loin?

Seriously, there is NOTHING attractive about this dick picture. Can you imagine the ones that he took before he captured this one?

“No, not that one… He almost looks erect here. *click* No, can’t use that one. You can’t see my white cotton socks in it. *click*”

Also, pink bedspread!?

Five demerits issued here, man: one for the pink bedspread, one for keeping your socks on, and three for the most pathetic looking boner I’ve seen. And I’ve seen more than a lifetime’s worth on this blog.

Cock pics are Whack!

Seriously, no women ever had a fling from a cock pic. In my experience cocks are best served in the dark, slowly, and with some decent wine and conversation. At least my cock is better after some conversation and some wine, but cock pics are gross. Don’t get me wrong, I have taken them and it’s nice to get a look at it once in a while, but women don’t go in for that too often, size queens not withstanding. Bathroom shirtless pictures are far more tasteful….ah men are idiots.

I prefer a more subtle route.

Yes, you’re right on both accounts. Cock pics are indeed WHACK and you are a perfect example of an idiot.

Yes, cock pics are the most offensive, most inappropriate pictures ever but really? You follow it up with a series of topless bathroom pictures? This is your best shot?

You’re an attractive enough guy… You seem like you can put together a pretty decent sentence, though you need work on the singular/plural word thing… Why, man?

Is brown hair played out?

I have brown hair, but I feel lost in the crowd. Maybe I should dye it bright red or blonde. I think not. Who out there likes massages, wine, music, nude tickle fights, pillows, beach sex and bare foot romping? Because I hate all that stuff. (Not really)

Bare foot romping? Aren’t you worried about Hep, man? I mean, you live in Chicago, not in the country. And even then, aren’t you afraid of smooshing your toesies in animal shit?

I’ll tell you what IS played out — posting on Craigslist more than one time in your life… Much less THREE nights in a week. DUDE, go to a bar. Pick up chicks in the produce department.

I do really like pillows though. He’s got me there.

I wish the posting hadn’t expired. I would email him and tell him to get highlights RIGHT THE FUCK NOW… Just to be mean.

Editor’s Note: If you are a man and you have highlights, you need to shave your head STAT. It’s never too late to right this wrong.

So cock pics are lame, am I right?

I asked the same question yesterday and got a pretty convincing argument against showing your penis to strangers online. I mean all guys have them, some are bigger than others, but do women like to look at them? I am thinking it’s not a turn on. I’m not a huge fan of vagina shots, namely because it looks scientific and not completely sexy. Are dicks the same? I find cock shots funny, but I am a heterosexual dude. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have taken one in my day, but I think most women don’t give a crap.

All this talk about dicks makes me think you’re gay.

And seriously? Is he naked in that second one and wearing a fucking skull cap? IN THE BATHROOM!?

Oh, right. This is the land of the lost. My bad.

THANK GOD this guy showed up though because for once, we can cozy up to the idea of something attractive!

ONE OF THE BEST LOOKING MEN YOU WILL EVER SEE…I LOOK 25 – 32 (los angeles)

……………….YES I AM VERY REAL IT IS REALLY ME….AND I WILL NOT RESPOND TO YOU WITH OUT CLEAR PIC’S…I WILL DELETE YOUR MASSAGE

I can’t even explain how exhausted I am. when it comes to finding someone just to hang out, looking for a friend first, it seems like there’s nothing but fake gold digging women, that expect men to take care of them in L.A.

Am looking for a woman who understands, that my money is my money, and their money is there money, and we are responsible for hour selves financially, there shouldn’t be any pressure on the man or the woman when going out financially or sexually.

If am ever in a serious relationship with a lady that’s a different story, but that shouldn’t be expected when you first getting to know somebody, those things supposed to happen naturally.

Am very direct and real person, I don’t play games ever. and my time is important to me. I can be very spontaneous, hilarious, adventurous, am a creative soul, hard worker, multi talented person.

I like new things to a certain extent, and I cherish every moment I can. I treat others how they treat me.

I love peace and quiet, especially under the moonlight counting the stars. am a very deep person, without being too complex.

I believe that everyone is special, and some people truly have the ability. to help a person feel how special they are, on a level of pure intimacy intriguing, igniting senses to feel the way they never felt before, until intoxication, of mind body and soul. I understand so deeply this gift.

Am one the best looking men that you will ever see, am definitely looking for a attractive woman, but looks aren’t everything. a average lady is enough for me, personality is the most important thing, I can’t deal with drama, selfishness, and the inability to change for the better,

More about me.

NAME KEON

Fitness trainer/ Model/ Actor/Dancer

Astrological sign Leo

favored colors silver, black and purple.

like to travel, as you can see am athletic.

I like all types of music

I don’t really have time the e-mail back and forth, the best way to get to know somebody is in person, looking for somebody who wants to meet in a public place for coffee dinner movie or clubing.

when E-mailing me tell me about your self, must send a pic’s or web link
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… I WISH I DID’NT HAVE TO WRITE THIS PART!!!!!! its seems that telling me a little about your self & sending a pic’s or web link is being over looked, SO YOU WILL BE OVER LOOKED & ERASED. SORRY BUT STOP WASTING MY TIME.
I know this is craigslist, No offense but if your a prostitute, Freak, or a man playing like you’re a women get a life, am not interested.

E-mail if interested no games please. and most likely i will send my number to bypass emailing. only serious people please.

HE WILL DELETE YOUR MASSAGES!

Your strong hand-rubbing into my dorsal side will not be tolerated!

But, Mr. Most Attractive Man! You’re already oiled up!

I don’t understand why women don’t want to just be my friend! I’m only doing the man-quivalent objectification of a bimbo in a bikini, but c’mon… GET TO KNOW ME!

And the new, updated and Golden Rule 2.0 (BETA):

I treat others how they treat me.

Can somebody tell me what’s happening here:

“I believe that everyone is special, and some people truly have the ability. to help a person feel how special they are, on a level of pure intimacy intriguing, igniting senses to feel the way they never felt before, until intoxication, of mind body and soul. I understand so deeply this gift.”

Is he talking about getting wasted? No? Well fuck it, somebody get me a drink anyway.

This part, “Am one the best looking men that you will ever see, am definitely looking for a attractive woman, but looks aren’t everything. a average lady is enough for me,” made me laugh and laugh and laugh!

Let’s not forget who’s the pretty half in this relationship, schweet-haaart!

Oh, he forgot one thing:

Fitness trainer/ Model/ Actor/Dancer/Waiter

But it’s really cute… I mean, it’s downright ADORABLE when they put the disclaimer to the bots:

I WISH I DID’NT HAVE TO WRITE THIS PART!!!!!! its seems that telling me a little about your self & sending a pic’s or web link is being over looked, SO YOU WILL BE OVER LOOKED & ERASED. SORRY BUT STOP WASTING MY TIME.

Do you hear me Robot? [shaking fist] If that even is your REAL name…

Let me think on that one for a minute, guys.

Hm… Yes, that’s nice.

Oh, right. Date Wrecks.

So, I love it when somebody posts something, doesn’t get much of a reply and so they go and edit their original post in order to perhaps work a different angle. The best example of this was our old pal Magnus who, in his first posting, failed to convince us that he would make a suitable husband. So he CHANGED it into some Justin Timberlake douchebag version where really shows his ass.

The beautiful thing, when this happens, is that it’s all about the timing. The reader finds this post, hurriedly emails it to me with their commentary and by the time I get to look at the submission, it’s a totally different wreck! It’s like one of those fucking babushkas except inside the original toy is a totally different, equally awesome toy! Except, it’s not a toy. And neither version is particularly fun.

So, I get this submission from Angel and it sounds wonderful:

Quirksome fellow seeking love and companionship. Pros: honest, pleasant, compassionate, non-judgemental, confident, affectionate, considerate, moves slowly so can’t lose you, faithful, playful, good manners, intelligent enough, emotionally available, supportive, unconventional thinker and problem solver. Cons: none, unless you don’t like an ugly face, an overweight body, and advanced nerve tissue damage resulting in e.d. Seriously, if these kinds of things would automatically disqualify me as a potential life partner, please first get over yourself and then do not reply. I’m going to have a good and fun life whether I receive no replies or many, because I understand that I’m only dancing on this earth for a short while. You too. Let’s make the most of it! “QQQ” in Subject to get past spam filter!

Get over myself? Dude, you just said you’re ugly, overweight and move slowly and your dick doesn’t work. Exactly what are we supposed to do together? I suppose we could take breaks from eating fried chicken together to like… dance. Or something.

But then I click on the link that Angel sent me. And it took me to an entirely different post!

YES!

So the guy who expressed that he’s going to have his fried chicken and a lovely life if he doesn’t receive any replies doesn’t CARE if you don’t email him, right? Wrong.

He cares enough that he changed his profile ENTIRELY.

AND… We get a gander at the whole hairy, giant, broken-dicked dude himself.

Door’s Open, Come On In – 48 (Speedway/Richey)

Sittin at home, door’s open, jerkin to porn, I’d love to have a buddy walk by and see me and join in. Drop me a note.

The picture, here, is amazing. It’s got a penis in it, so if you’re peen-shy, you should wait until your office is empty or maybe until you’re at home so that you can properly cover your mouth when you gasp and then break into a fit of giggles.

Ahhh… Shape-shifting. That would totally be my super power.

Any guesses? I would say something like Yardsales in a neighborhood full of Pedos.

But this guy has a different take. Or… He’s just like all the rest of the dolts that post on Craigslist and he’s stooopid.

dating ,chatting ,..no attachment pls – 28 (webster)

hey,..hows it going? actually this is my first time on ,… social networking site,..like this and wanna give it try,..

About me,.. m a soft engg by profession ,,…,.looking for good company to hang out with ,..in clubs ,..sometime partying and chat,…have a good friends network

m athletic 5′ 8” ,…,.like sports ,..hanging out with friends ,…new places,..sometime to be at a silent place,.,..some romantic thing,..u knw what m saying,..

Looking similar things from a person,.. no older than 30,.,..and white,..asian,..caucasian,..and a secret of mine is.,..i am a virgin(honestly,..no lie) and if its gonna be my first time,. it should be awesome,…so only good prospects,..no no for heavy duties and black ,…

Attached is pic of mine,..,..hope u would like it and its real,…can i also have some pics of urs,.if you dont mind,…

Oh, nothing warms my heart than an illiterate, mean-muggin’ racist VIRGIN!

And a soft engg? Software Engineer? No, hm. That’s much to easy to type. How about a Smarmy Off-Putting Face That Enrages Nipples, Good Grief! That’s the kind of job description I can get down with.

And before any of you self-righteous folks out there start in with the, “I’ve never commented before, but Jami, this man is clearly not a native speaker,” I’m'a say this: There is not a language on this big, beautiful planet where it’s appropriate or even ACCEPTABLE to do this:

,…,..

NO WHERE! Seriously, I’m looking at my fingers on the home keys and trying to sort out of your right pinky  or ring finger is twitchy, sideways, or super fat. That’s the only explanation for the constant bouncing back and forth between the period and the comma.

“sometime to be at a silent place,.,..some romantic thing,..u knw what m saying,..” Uhhm… The library? A candlelight dinner at a library? No? Well, then… Silent places… Graveyard! Morgue!? School for the deaf!???

No, kemo sabe. I don’t know what the fuck any of this means.