‘From My Inbox’ Archives
The Freak Bacon Is Strong With This One
Sarah in Ottawa sends in this gem from her inbox: The following is an email exchange I had with a guy on OkCupid. His profile wasn’t filled out, the only information he had was that he was from Reykjavik. He starts off on a somewhat over-familiar note: Icelandic [Read More]
Nanu Nanu!
Catherine was just minding her own business, dating online, tra la la la and then BAM! Alien contact! Hullo, the intrepid adventurer-sorceress in a maybe-soon-to-be magical, misty, fairy-tale land enchanted with rainbow pleasure, cool comfort, and mystical mysteries! Can [Read More]
Ahoy, har’s somethin’ intarstin’ in your inbox!
Our submitter just turned eighteen and her suitor was thirty years old. Also, he wasn’t a pirate, but he still felt compelled to send this email to her: “Arrr!!! Avast ye, lassie! Be seein’ the scallywags and their games, ya do, eh? I’ll hoist ya up [Read More]
It Pains Me
Seriously… Can we get an option on OkCupid to flag form letters? Let’s kick THOSE members off the god damn site. SO STUPID! Susan in Virginia sends this submission in and the form letter is… buh. It’s so painfully obvious that this dolt sends this to [Read More]
Ka-BOOM Goes The Inbox
My OkCupid inbox has been slightly dead in the last few months and it’s actually  been kind of nice. Honestly, I’ve probably gotten more mail related to Date Wrecks in my OkCupid inbox than actual dudes that want to date. It’s been nice… I mean, [Read More]
Did You Miss Me?
No, of course not. What you missed was the freakshow and, OF COURSE, I know that I am not the freakshow you seek. *ahem* Sorry the posts have dwindled (read: haven’t existed) this week. There was a death in my family and I had to take off for a whirlwind trip to NC to [Read More]
Sleepers
You ever heard the term sleeper? Urban Dictionary says: Often reffering to what appears to be a ordinary looking stock commuter car that is anything but stock under the hood. I also like this definition: Outwardly common looking item, that possesses something special or [Read More]
Can You Date Online But Disable The Email Feature?
For unnecessary overuse of both quotation marks and ellipses, survey says, "NEWP!" Also, 38? Really?? [Read More]
Wrecky Repost: There is nothing wrong with this man.
remote host "4.bp.blogspot.com" not allowedRead this and tell me what is wrong with it: More About Me…Hello I’m a very laid back and funny guy, love romantic and relaxing settings I’m looking for a woman who can be my partner in crime and enjoy eachother,i still have a lot to give to a woman, i [Read More]
Sucessfully Creep People Out In Just One Email!
Kitrona sends in this submission which should be filed under, “Dude, what the fuck were you thinking?” I know the first email is hard. I worked in cold-call sales once. It blew. It was super hard. I understand the pressure associated with sending someone that [Read More]