Archive for the ‘From My Inbox’ Category

The Freak Bacon Is Strong With This One

Sarah in Ottawa sends in this gem from her inbox: The following is an email exchange I had with a guy on OkCupid. His profile wasn’t filled out, the only information he had was that he was from Reykjavik. He starts off on a somewhat over-familiar note: Icelandic Pervert: “You don’t...
June 30th, 2010 | | Read More

Nanu Nanu!

Nanu Nanu!
Catherine was just minding her own business, dating online, tra la la la and then BAM! Alien contact! Hullo, [Catherine's User Name] the intrepid adventurer-sorceress in a maybe-soon-to-be magical, misty, fairy-tale land enchanted with rainbow pleasure, cool comfort, and mystical mysteries! Can you imagine...
May 25th, 2010 | | Read More

Ahoy, har’s somethin’ intarstin’ in your inbox!

Our submitter just turned eighteen and her suitor was thirty years old. Also, he wasn’t a pirate, but he still felt compelled to send this email to her: “Arrr!!! Avast ye, lassie! Be seein’ the scallywags and their games, ya do, eh? I’ll hoist ya up the mainsail so they don’t...
May 24th, 2010 | | Read More

It Pains Me

It Pains Me
Seriously… Can we get an option on OkCupid to flag form letters? Let’s kick THOSE members off the god damn site. SO STUPID! Susan in Virginia sends this submission in and the form letter is… buh. It’s so painfully obvious that this dolt sends this to every girl he wants to talk...
May 20th, 2010 | OkStupid | Read More

Ka-BOOM Goes The Inbox

My OkCupid inbox has been slightly dead in the last few months and it’s actually  been kind of nice. Honestly, I’ve probably gotten more mail related to Date Wrecks in my OkCupid inbox than actual dudes that want to date. It’s been nice… I mean, my life has been fairly chaotic...
May 12th, 2010 | | Read More

Did You Miss Me?

Did You Miss Me?
No, of course not. What you missed was the freakshow and, OF COURSE, I know that I am not the freakshow you seek. *ahem* Sorry the posts have dwindled (read: haven’t existed) this week. There was a death in my family and I had to take off for a whirlwind trip to NC to be with family. Here’s...
April 28th, 2010 | OkStupid | Read More

Sleepers

Sleepers
You ever heard the term sleeper? Urban Dictionary says: Often reffering to what appears to be a ordinary looking stock commuter car that is anything but stock under the hood. I also like this definition: Outwardly common looking item, that possesses something special or unique inside. So what does this...
March 14th, 2010 | | Read More

Can You Date Online But Disable The Email Feature?

So, I updated my OkCupid profile. Back in November, I deleted almost everything because I was burned the fuck out. Dating is exhausting, but I’m finding my feet again. While I was there, I went through my inbox and realized that I had neglected to share some really awesome (read: terrible) emails...
February 22nd, 2010 | | Read More

Wrecky Repost: There is nothing wrong with this man.

Read this and tell me what is wrong with it: More About Me…Hello I’m a very laid back and funny guy, love romantic and relaxing settings I’m looking for a woman who can be my partner in crime and enjoy eachother,i still have a lot to give to a woman, i like to add that iam honest...
January 19th, 2010 | | Read More

Sucessfully Creep People Out In Just One Email!

Sucessfully Creep People Out In Just One Email!
Kitrona sends in this submission which should be filed under, “Dude, what the fuck were you thinking?” I know the first email is hard. I worked in cold-call sales once. It blew. It was super hard. I understand the pressure associated with sending someone that first little email. But this...
December 31st, 2009 | | Read More
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