Archive for the ‘FTWF’ Category

FTWF: Which’a Way?!

FTWF: Which’a Way?!
Her username? Cougarlicous. Not Cougarlicious. Cougar-le-cous (cous?) Other mentionables: I mean, her crazy eye….s. That goes without saying. She’s wearing a pinky ring. Is that a mullet? Or is it pulled back in a banana clip? And I’m pretty sure that’s a bikini top under  her...
August 26th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

FTWF: Aww, Somebody Tell Him About MMA

FTWF: Aww, Somebody Tell Him About MMA
His profile was totally empty, so there’s no text from it I can use here. So, I figured I’d just make up some of my own. The eighties called, they said it’s time to renew your gym membership. Maybe instead of those pythons, you should focus on decorating that big ass house behind you,...
July 9th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

FTWF: Track Down This Murderer

FTWF: Track Down This Murderer
Thou canst blind; but I can then grope. Uhhmm… So, you’re wearing a plaster mask, and your entire profile is an excerpt from Moby Dick. We get it, you’re like… Really into the arts and literature. But how is this going to play out? “How will I recognize you, dear Phantom?” “I’ll...
June 25th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

HSSS: FTWF Old Man Edition

Jami: Man, that’s a lot of capital letters in that title. Guess who’s baaack? PC: Is it me?  Am I back?  I feel like I’m back.  Of course, with Jami harassing me to end my sabbatical, I kinda had to come back. Jami: Today, we’re focusing our attention on one of my favorite...
June 8th, 2010 | FTWF, He Said -- She Said | Read More

FTWF: Not The Pipe Smoking Kind

Oh no… That’s totally not a ‘shroom-sitting high motherfucker. That’s a fucking BANDIT! “My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.” – Burt Reynolds “Conversation with me generates interests and usually at...
June 3rd, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

FTWF: Dirty Sanchez?

Captioned: Dinner with C Gosh, it’s a good thing you care so much about protecting your child’s privacy. There’s NO WAY he’s going to be upset that you did this to his entire face. What’s with censoring his hairline? Does your child have a particularly telling hairline?
April 23rd, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

FTWF: It’s Hereditary

FTWF: It’s Hereditary
I will have a full set of dentures as soon as I can afford them, having had wonderful hereditary periodontal disease, just like good old Dad and Grandpa. Does this make a me a bad person to be thankful that breast cancer runs in my family and not periodontal disease? TEEFS R IMPOORTENT!
April 16th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

Sleepy Head

Sleepy Head
One can hope that the orange nailpolish paired with the blue dress in the background is a clue that this was an eighties party… Or a tacky party… But, c’mon lady. There is nothing flattering about this shot, darling.
April 10th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

Hurricanes: Explained.

Hurricanes: Explained.
The ocean is angry. Wouldn’t you be?
April 9th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More

[Cue The Banjos]

[Cue The Banjos]
So… Are we really supposed to believe that that camo jacket and hat are YOURS, Harley Honey? They don’t belong to some broad backed, mullet-wearing redneck? Oh… Wait… I guess the jacket DOES belong to a broad backed… mullet-wearing… redneck. Sorry, ma’am.
April 8th, 2010 | FTWF | Read More
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