‘OkStupid’ Archives
Pretty Face Waste
It’s such a shame… She’s actually pretty in her second picture, but her first picture with her monster boob taking over the entire southern quadrant of the picture is a little… distracting. And then, her profile! I can’t understand — no, [Read More]
What A Waste Of A Mango Smoothie
Susan sent this submission in and, folks… Let’s just take moment to remember her mango smoothie. He’s looking for “revenge sex.” I almost vomited up my mango smoothie picturing George Costanza here hammering out his jilted aggression in my vag. [Read More]
Edjukayshun. You’re Doing It Wrong.
Elizabeth sends this submission in with this message: Oh, OkCupid, the things you breed. I checked my mail today and 3 times in a row Zachary2009 sent me a message, all asking to meet with him tonight. The first for dinner, the second for dancing, and the third imploring [Read More]
Dirty Old Men Need Love, Too
I just… *sigh* I worry that you guys will think I’m an ageist. I’m really not! In fact, I love old people! It’s really creepy naked old people that bother me. Especially creepy naked old men who profess to being good at oral sex. And… The way [Read More]
Thank God For Mobile Internet
Without my G1, this post would have never happened. You see, the other night I was over at a friend’s house watching a movie and pulled out my phone to check and see who had been stalking my profile on OkCupid. Remember, I’m um… Back in it. Or something. I [Read More]
This Just In: Dudes Who Wear Pantyhose Are Gay!
Or, um… At least that is what I’m deducing from this submission. You want some REAL hot erotica?? You want to read something that gets your girly bits feeling tingly? Don’t worry dudes, this will probably make your jeans tight as well… Wait, [Read More]
Wrecky Repost: Colonel Lingus?
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That’s his user name folks… And about 80% of his profile is fairly normal. Until the end… Read on… (he’s on the right) ColonelLingus 24 / m / straight / Single Bangor, Pennsylvania My self-summary I am a 24 year old financial advisor. I play [Read More]
Decisions, Decisions…
I have two wrecks that were going head to head in my head for the coveted Tuesday night, pre-He Said — She Said spot. An alien versus a redneck. Does it get any more cliche than that?! Seriously though, I’m waiting to post the redneck on Thursday. Be patient, [Read More]
My Heart Swells With Pride
You know, people sometimes give me a hard time for being nothing but a ball-buster. I’m always poking fun at the socially inept and glaringly inappropriate… It’s in my nature to be critical, so this sort of thing comes really naturally to me… But [Read More]
Profiling: Markx2
So, I’m sure at some point, you’ve read through something here and been like, “Wait… I’ve done that. Oh shit. Am I a Date Wreck?” It’s okay. Don’t panic! Here’s the tell-tale way you can tell that you’re a [Read More]
