Alien contact!

Hullo, [Catherine's User Name] the intrepid adventurer-sorceress in a maybe-soon-to-be magical, misty, fairy-tale land enchanted with rainbow pleasure, cool comfort, and mystical mysteries!

Can you imagine the fascinating scene of a woman feeling the captivating, celestial delight and deep wonder as she looks up into a clear sky on an early, still-dark summer morning………. the silver stars still glittering and a lemon-coloured full moon o’re the healthy tall trees in the west still giving its brilliant radiance……. and then seeing her turn her head to gaze to-ward the east, as a robin starts to sing, to see the gentle gleam of sunrise which soon turns into a wild magenta dawn, and then slowly into a soft lavender light everywhere……… and she sips her tastey morning hot drink, mesmerised at its ghostly, waving steam and feeling it tickle her nose in the serene, cool fresh air….. and her all the while holds the warm and secure hand of someone special and dear to her heart……. now can you forsee all that happening in your life to light up the giant, accepting, and colourful rainbow in your very own soul………….. beginning……….. now……………?

Uhh…. Listen, guy. You’re not putting anything in my soul, much less a “rainbow” whatever kind of alien slang that is!

Seriously! That first line sounds like some kind of tag-line for a really bad Engrish film.

Shall we meet this little green man?

RhythmicFire : Blazing in the night…

City: Calgary Alberta

Age: 39 year old Man

Profession: Knyght of a Trillion Stars

Interests

marrionette theatres
Bovellian metaphysics
writing my novel
heuristics
writing my nonfiction work
exotic kites
morning fog
dawn dusk gloaming
the bandura instrument
deutero-learning
ornate candelabra
Chinese lanterns wind chimes
thaumaturgy
sensual salon music accordion
night rainbows
higher-order operational epistemology
Gurdjieffian philosophy
spring morn consciousness
MAD magazine
tornadoes
Coast To Coast AM
OpenBSD
Vladimir Vysotsky
uncanny stories
strange phemonena
howling gales
lit candles
seeing meteorites
collaboration writing
ancient Pagan Mystery cults
learning naturopathy
Chi Gong
Zero Point Field theory
archeological mysteries
windmills of the mind
gazing at elongated shadows
developing my cartoon character
learning to animate my cartoon character
studying thermodynamics steam theory for fun
lightning
classic literature
ABBA
Led Zeppelin
Baroque harpsichord music

About Me

Just another day in paradise… how good can you make things?
Well! Let’s see… I’m an intelligent man seeking that intelligent woman who’ll captivate me and blow my mind with her personality, spirit, attitude, and aspirations–a woman so winsome, capricious, adorable, jealous, beautiful, inflaming, and altogether vivacious that all men should stand amazed. I’d love to meet a woman who has knowledge of naturopathy and esoteric teachings. Appreciation of philosophy is a bonus, as well as having read classic prose and poetry. Obviously, she can’t just follow or have my pursuits; she must needs have a life of her own, her own passions–of which we can then share our individual findings with one another and then share that to-gether with the world. Most importantly, she must be of good conversation. I think it was Friedrich Nietzsche who said that a relationship is a long conversation, and that every woman’s beauty will fade; but if she’s a good conversationalist, then that relationship will be fulfilling! (Something to that effect.)
If you were to notice, yes, I do have a permanent tan (Papa’s from Italy and Mama’s from up North)… I am an ambitious person who looks at nature’s forested, tranquil expressions like a male elk resting on an opening green meadow… I fancy hearing and discovering rhythmic, serene, captivating music, enveloping my ears, like a sweet aroma tickling your nose in a pleasurable sensuality, and to enjoy reading books to increase one’s imagination more and more… and the inviting, massaging stories it can create in you and me… I surely like the glowing-red coals sizzling a mouth-watering, fulfilling, scrumptious barbeque like a verdant glade in the deepest, colourful horizon of summer…
I am soothing warm sand, a fiery magenta dawn, and a chirping, naughty, rebellious squirrel, clearly…
My goal in life is to seek the open, free space and warm sunlight outside Plato’s cave…
I love nature and desire spending all my leisure time I possible can in deep woods and forests in the mountains, by calm crystal lakes…….
There are many interesting and thrilling things that I do for fun (they just make you tingle all over).
Favourite novels of all time: Bulgakov’s The Master And Margarita, Cervantes’ Don Quixote (my top one), Gogol’s Dead Souls, Kerouac’s On The Road, Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, and especially Stanislaw Lem’s Solaris.
Winds and storms embrace me, the smell of rain, the energy thunder comes with, big snowflakes in my hair, a warm sparkling fire in a cottage… Imagine that it can be pleasing…. for you…… to read……

O, tell us a tale of a ghost! now do!
It’s a capital time, for the fire burns blue.
–Anon, “The Vicarage Ghost”,
Tinsleys’ Magazine
(Christmas Number, 1868).

First Date

Well! If you can imagine such a secret as a spellbinding, glistening, crackling fire…. pulling and drawing you in…. to the warmth, safety, and wonderous fire that captivates and fascinates you…. as you willingly move forward more and more….. into the attractive wood-burning light….. and you realise that your fire has been lit!

DUDE. Seriously. What the fuck!?

It’s like Sphincter boy grew up and got a thesaurus. I don’t even really know what to say about this one.

Catherine, chances are this alien has already started reading your mind. The very best thing you can do it make yourself a tinfoil hat and wait patiently in your closet until you can be sure he’s gone.

Best of luck to you!

RANDY BUTT : Shapely Sensuous–Progressive Thinker$$

City: HARDBOD Pennsylvania
Sign: Scorpio
Height: 5′ 10″ (178 cm)
Age: 42 year old Man

Interests

YOU-ME-SUN-STARS-Alternate Dimension

About Me

I’m one helluva Guy…seeking that ellusive Beautiful Woman…who also feels that there is more to LOve and Life than most people seem to accept and settle for!!! Forget the norm and Get ready for the unexpected.!!. Let’s rock ……or NOT…..I’m fickle at times….

First Date

HANG-ON Anticipate the the most INTENSE first date ever…………….or maybe>

I’m ready, are you?

Dan87d92 : looking

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Do you drink? Socially
Marital Status Separated
Profession furnture
Smarts N/A

About Me

1-messing with my car or bike
2-still looking
3-shy,blue eyes,
4-NOT LOOKING FOR STUCK UP ****ES THAT ARE TO GET TO EVEN SPEAK ( I THINK YOU KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT)
5-little bit of everything,rock ,rap,metal,stuff,stuff,stuff,
stuff,stuff,stuff
stuff,stuff,I like fast cars.I like fast cars.I like fast cars.I like fast cars.I like fast cars.I like fast cars.

Are you to get to even speak? C’mon girls. Give him a shot. He raps clean and he’s got a website. And you know, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff. Doye.

What’s that? You don’t know who Denny Blaze is? Oh jeez, did you just get internet? Here, watch this.

So, in closing… He’s a professional furnture, doesn’t have smarts, DOES have a mullet and is STILL married. And is he making a duckface?

I gotta go watch some eighties movies now.

PS Thanks to Julie!

Fabiolite : Romance, Friendship, Success, Fun.

About Me:

Romance is more important than sex; and comedy is more important than anything.I have studied and worked in movies, so thay may be a talking point. I like danceable music, reality TV and fashion more than most hetro guys.
Re:Questions and snide remarks about the silver motorcycle jacket picture- Direct your comments to the designers at Dolce and Gabbana who set the trend for metalic leather in 2008-9, got $3900 per jacket, and helped me screen broke – assed, fashion illiterates like you out of my social life.

First Date:

Sharing an elegant meal where we can talk works for me as a first date. IF YOU ARE MORE THAN 3 YEARS OLDER AND 10 LBS. FATTER THAN YOUR PICTURE, PLEASE, DO NOT WASTE MY TIME WITH YOUR FALSE ADVERTISING; I AM ONLY GOING TO RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU DRAGGED ME ALL THE WAY OUT TO MEET JABBA THE HUT INSTEAD OF THE GIRL ON THE PICTURE. Show 3 pictures or no meeting.

I… I’m in shock. I just can’t understand how someone this… ugly… and old (dude is NOT 38)… and with such poor fashion sense thinks so highly of himself. God, the west coast is a particularly strange.

Now, to discuss the pictures, of course, we’ll start with his silver jacket. The first image that came to mind was that he’s jockin Gonzo’s style, yo.

Though, to be fair, Gonzo’s got the matching hat, so… I’m pretty sure everyone knows that Fabio here is just a poser.

If you needed further evidence, let’s discuss the jacket in more detail. A quick google search reveals that Golce & Gabbana DID, in fact, have a silver jacket in their line recently. The jackets that I found, here and here, are both women’s jackets and are actually cute. They don’t look like the vinyl hologram trapper keepers from when I was in junior high.

Can you imagine how SWEATY you would get wearing a plastic/vinyl jacket in southern California??

So, let’s go over the facts: Dude has a bowl cut/mullet and is VERY proud of his women’s fake D&G silver jacket and has a penchant for shaved-headed men that are shorter than him (either for just picture taking or… who knows).

Speaking of bowl cut/mullets, does he remind you of a certain Peter Pan afficionado (careful, there’s music that plays on that website — it’s really terrible. Who DOES that anymore??)?

Here’s a side by side comparison:

I’ve got an eye for this kind of thing. What can I say? I have been given many gifts in life.

You guys got any more talking points?

Here’s the c & p from his stats on his profile:

Male
39 years old
5′ 6″ tall
Average build
Red hair – Brown eyes
Other
I smoke socially
Very good looking
Sales (occupation)
$35,000 – $50,000 (income)
Looking for a Serious relationship
Divorced
Has 3 children, lives with 0
Christian (religion)

You’ll notice that he didn’t mention anywhere in his ad that he was a CROSS DRESSER!!

That seems like something you’d mention… Specifically if you are listing these are your ONLY pictures (shield your eyes and remove children from the room):

That one is entitled “me and my favorit skirt”

This one is, gulp… “The back of my bathing suit, pink is my faverit color”. Mother fucker has a TRAMP STAMP!

Caption read, “front of it and girly jeans”…

What exactly IS IT? The bathing suit?

Originally Posted on October 1, 2008