C’mon, you’re awesome. Clearly, you’re smart — you read Date Wrecks! You’ve also likely got a wicked sense of humor and a killer collection of whatever sort of thing it is that you collect. The world should see you!

More importantly, the whole point of the Sunday Showcase is to show all the Wrecks out there that it can be done, the right way. Online dating isn’t that hard. Prove it! Send me a link to your profile. You should understand that your Date Wrecks family might have some pointers or constructive criticism for your profile, so don’t submit if you can’t handle that. I don’t let any comments on Sunday Showcase posts through if they’re mean-spirited or attacking in any way. Mama bear’s got yer back, man.

Alright, on with it! It’s a lady!

Pride Parade, pre-sunburn

How fucking hipster is this picture

I'll never take a photo without a wind machine again

Before the rockstar party

Dig the socks

27 / F / Bisexual / Single

My Self-Summary

I moved to San Francisco from Chicago six months ago without a job or a place to live. Depending on the time of day, this seems like the most freeing, awesomest thing ever or the scariest / stupidest. Recession, smecession, I says.

I get up at stupid o’ clock to do yoga 6 times a week. I would walk everywhere if I had the time. I want to talk to you about politics and sex and ayurveda and The Bachelorette. I’d rather play sports than watch them. Impulsive, playful, prone to writing essays on the history of foot fetishism. I’m just as likely to read The Onion as Cosmo as the NY Times. I’m a masochist, but more intellectually than physically. Ambitious, perceptive, like to keep moving. I feel that doing the dishes can be soothing and meditative. I hate when people put either their pets or babies on the phone for me to talk to. I wish I spoke more languages. I wish I read more poetry and less politics. I think vocabulary is sexy. And juggling. I’m willing to lie about how we met.

I am punny, pithy, and fucktacular

What I’m doing with my life

Trying to get my mom to stop saying “expresso”

Tweeting/blogging for Mother Jones magazine, writing promiscuously about everything from bars to plays to films to sex toys. I also write a dating column for After Ellen, called The Hook Up. I heart when people send me sex/dating questions.

I’m really good at

Finding the silverware drawer in people’s houses, spontaneous road trips, improvised dance moves, some gems include “The Lawnmower” and “Choreographed Boxing”, making omelets, limericks, love letters, unintentional grimacing, knock out, ping pong, Scrabble, and punning.

The first things people usually notice about me

Probably my hot-for-teacher glasses

Though once someone told me, “You have a really expressive ass.” And I wasn’t even impersonating Drew Carey!

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Books are my dominatrix. I frequently go back to Lorrie Moore, Sherman Alexie, Sandra Cisneros and David Sedaris but I also submit to Inga Muscio, Jhumpa Lahiri, Stuart Dybek, Cherrie Moraga, Audre Lorde, Alice Munro, Kurt Vonnegut, Shirley Jackson, Barbara Kingsolver, Michelle Tea, Marjorie Garber, Junot Diaz, Michael Chabon…

Music: I’m currently in love with Regina Spektor. I like music I can shake it to. Predominantly, I listen to indie, but I also like a lot of bad pop music – Justin Timberlake, J. Lo, Evanescence. Also Sufjan, Decemberists, Amy Winehouse, Bob Dylan, Mahalia Jackson, The Smiths, Ace of Base, that Montell Jordan song “this is how we do it” um Portishead, oh and I think I love Janelle Monae now.

Movies: most Wes Anderson (but not Life Aquatic), Kissing Jessica Stein, The Secrets (Ha-Sodot), Christopher Guest, Groundhog Day…and French films about trains.

Food: anything vegetarian that someone else cooks for me

The six things I could never do without

good salsa, a pen, words, orgasms, touch, coffee

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Why two men who know each other on the bus/train/movie theater refuse to sit next to each other and proceed to shout their conversation from two or more seats away. Is it because they think people will think they’re gay? I just don’t get it. Amy Goodman. Sexuality. Country songs I could have written based on bad dates. “When the Rug Burn Fades, What Will I Remember You By” (Copyright: LezBiAnna) If I’ll ever memorize more than six chords on guitar. Puns, I have a blog devoted to them. For serious. Should I take up break dancing…

On a typical Friday night I am

Two-fisting rusty nails down at the local cockfight

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I find the smell of Subway bread intoxicating. Also, I’m hard of hearing. Don’t take me to a death metal concert.

I’m looking for

Guys and girls who like bi girls
Ages 21-40
Near me
For new friends, short-term dating, activity partners

You should message me if

you live in or very close to San Francisco. (Jake or Maggie Gyllenhaal, you are exempted from this)

you want to show me an awesome dive bar where they only speak Russian and old men will take their fake eye out for you (or equivalent)

you are giving away a drum set and/or free lessons

you want to give me a book deal (one can dream, yeah?)

Alright, so I’m not gonna lie. She’s one of my writer friends (how lucky am I?!), so I can’t be totally subjective, but I think she’s clear about what she’s looking for and because she’s not seeking anything super serious, she keeps her profile light. Lots of great little jokes or surprises stuck throughout that make it easy to keep on reading.

I think she sounds like she’d be fun to be stupid with but also a perfect person to sit and talk and be interesting with. It’s hard to find both of those things in a person and even harder for a person who IS that way to communicate it.

Your thoughts?

I hope nothing falls on my head.

"Back with another one of those Rock hoppin' beats" @ Golden Gardens.

I don't always have orange hair. Since that matters to some people.

1 driver + 1 instigator + 1 close encounter = 2500 miles + 4 days + 3 tourist attractions

Wearing a white tux / like Bond, with a good Pinot / Live dangerously.

my skate!

38 / M / Straight / Single

I am omni-flavorous, sponta-travellous, and mono-spoilous.

My Self-Summary

A quote of particular interest when browsing OKCupid:
“These three assumptions are fundamental: information is partial, information is contaminated, and information costs.” – J. Traub (1988).

I am looking for:

* Banter – idle conversation, gossip, and wit that distracts and entertains. (and if you think gossip is wrong, read this: okcupid blocks links, so ask if you are really curious ).
* Reading Material – I love new information and so always looking for new material. Just looking at other people’s profiles has been profitable.
* Social Fabric – Trust is the only valuable currency. And luckily it’s not zero-sum undertaking, by expanding a circle of trust, we expand trust for everyone.
* Destinations – last year work took me to Vegas for DefCon and beautiful strangers took me to the Playa. Skinny dipping took me on a road trip to Devil’s Tower and I took a beautiful stranger to London. All first time destinations. I want to go somewhere new in 2010. (PS – been to BC and SF so far this year, but not for the first time.)
* Decadence – I love to spoil and be spoiled. Life is cornucopia of opportunity for those that enjoy it.

I compulsively read. I am fascinated by how people think. I roller skate. I love linguistics, cheese and dressing up. I always share my food. I am an extrovert.

I value disassembling not dissembling. I enjoy elisions and allusions but try to steer clear of illusions and delusions.

I was just reminded that most people only skim these things, so practically everything I put in here is just noise anyway.

What I’m doing with my life

Aligning with my priorities, following through on my commitments, and looking for compelling distractions. Also learning to make IM fruitful. Link trades anyone?

I’m really good at

doing what’s important.

The first things people usually notice about me

My hair is orange. I am tall. I am friendly. In that order.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

The short list (Itinerant/Contemporary!Playing?Queued):
* Grapes of Wrath, Sometimes a Great Notion, Fools Die, God Emperor of Dune / Botany of Desire ! The Man in the White Sharkskin Suit ? Midaq Alley
* Zoolander, Arrested Development / Leverage ! ? Alice in Wonderland
* Yaz, Devo, Skinny Puppy, The The, Love and Rockets/Simian Mobile Disco, Amanda Blank, Lilly Allen, Junior Boys, Muse ! Pimsleur’s Persian
* Carpaccio/Basque Tapas

The six things I could never do without

Family, people, books, wheels, flavors, and surfaces.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

practically everything. Thinking is fun. I especially like meta-thinking: thinking about thinking. And recursively, so is meta-meta-thinking which is what I am doing right now.

On a typical Friday night I am

At practice and then amok!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I have to stretch more than I like.

I like okcupid. I like the compulisve perusing. I like the little profile tweaks. I like the superficial intimacy. I like the small discoveries of new. I like the unintentional revelations of inconsistencies. I like the statistical relevancy algorithms based on proximity/distance of answers. I like the exposé blog posts. I like the lack of consequences. I like that I recognize people I know. I like that people I don’t know recognize me. I like the inherent awkwardness of the interactions. I like people. Especially girls who like boys.

Tourists like to take my picture, no matter what town I am in they always assume I am the native fauna. It’s the hair.

You should message me if

Feel free to message me if you think xkcd is genius.

Number 701 is totally perfect for okcupid users since they both use statistical analysis to determine personal compatibility. LOVE IT!

So… What’s your take? I really like this guy’s profile. I did tell him that I was curious if he was more infatuated with the OkCupid interface than he might be with a potential date, but I think that’s just the computer nerd in him. I really love it when someone can be smart and flex their brain without taking themselves SO seriously.

This is one of my most favorite parts about Date Wrecks and, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’ve been such a dolt and haven’t been posting them this winter. If you’re not familiar with The Sunday Showcase, read the rulez, lest you look like an ace-whole in the comments.

Up today, a slightly pretentious, public radio-loving, book snob. Love it!

26 / M / Straight / Single

I am really into, awkward timing, and misplacing commas.

My Self-Summary

I’m not terribly good at small talk. I’ve never owned a television. I tend to avoid situations that involve more than ten people in a room. I’m concerned with aesthetics more than most people. I love winter and I’m not very fond of warm weather. Politically, I’m an Objectivist, though I often support Libertarians as well. I get weak in the knees for mid-century modern furniture, vintage automobiles, thick non-fiction books, jazz, heavy red wine, architecture, Ira Glass, French pop music, dogs, and motorcycles.

What I’m doing with my life

Working for a left-leaning public radio station and whoring myself out as a writer for very little compensation.

I’m really good at

Correcting grammar and alienating people.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Books:
Anything by Patrick McCabe . A Confederacy of Dunces . Picture of Dorian Gray . Candide . Master and Margarita . Ulysses . The Plague . Les Fleurs du mal . Branches . Tidelands [to name a few..]

If you ever meet me, there is a good chance that I will force a Patrick McCabe book on you. If you’ve already read one of his and enjoyed it, there is an equally good chance that I will propose to you.

Movies and Television Shows:
Dancer in the Dark . Reprise . Der Untergang . There Will Be Blood . Let the Right One In . In the Loop . Noi . Mad Men . Dexter . Sopranos . Breaking Bad . I’m Alan Partridge . The Thick of It

Music:
Monica Zetterlund . BLUR . PULP . The Kinks . Flaming Lips . Dinosaur Jr . Wesley Willis . MGMT . Calvin Harris . Pavement . The Apples in Stereo . Polaris . The Daredevil Christopher Wright . Stars . The Jesus and Mary Chain . Ambulance LTD . MSTRKRFT . Daft Punk . Mr. Oizo . Dizzee Rascal . SebastiAn . Riot in Belgium . Vicarious Bliss . Oasis . Elliot Smith . Deerhoof . Bjork . Doves . Ash . David Bowie . Beatles . Radiohead . Feist . The Album Leaf . Tegan and Sara . the Shins . Violens . West Indian Girl . Under Byen . Peter Bjorn and John . Mazzy Star . Metric . Spoon . Louis XIV . Miles Davis . Lionel Hampton . Bill Evans . Stan Getz . Chemical Brothers . Justice . Uffie . Les Georges Leningrad . Sonic Youth . Vampire Weekend . Tom Waits . Animal Collective [..the list goes on.]

Food:
I’m not terribly picky, but I am a complete wimp when it comes to ingesting anything spicy. This often presents a problem, considering my love for Indian and Thai cuisine.

The six things I could never do without

1. Books.
2. The pretentious pleasure I derive from talking about books.
3. Public radio.
4. The pretentious pleasure I derive from working in public radio.
5. New Amsterdam gin.
6. PutThisOn.com

I spend a lot of time thinking about

[user name redacted] — My very best and very gayest friend.

If you’re an attractive gay man, you should visit his profile. He’s single and ready to mingle.

On a typical Friday night I am

Getting ready to go out for a drink, deciding I don’t feel like mingling with massive crowds of people, and ultimately drinking wine whilst reading in bed.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I have a general aversion toward making personal commitments of a romantic nature and what bit of sentimentality I may possess is usually directed towards pets and inanimate objects.

That being said, I am quite fond of the friends I do have and I’m always open to meeting new ones.

You should message me if

You’re an intelligent and confident person with progressive social views who knows how to spell.

What is my crippling fascination with having crushes on men who live thousands of miles away? Le sigh. I loved this profile. I felt like it was the perfect smattering of pretentious I’m-actually-a-smart-person-itis and I-can-also-laugh-at-myself-itis. I mean, yea, correcting grammar DOES usually alienate people. Heh. Super clever.

He sounds like someone that I would love to sit with and drink top-shelf Belgians and red wine and talk about writers and music. There’s not a lot of pressure for serious romance right away, and even though he makes mention of being a bit of a commitment-phobe, he makes a joke about proposing, too.

My only real criticism would be that picture with the orange vase. It’s not a particularly flattering pose and I’m wondering what that shifty vase did to you to make you look so suspicious.

I also can’t believe I like your bathroom mirror picture. I mean, it’s a little arty, but I think that’s how you can pull it off. Check your weather this week, kids… Look for the Freak Bacon flying or something like that.

Hey! Welcome back, Sunday Showcase! We’ve missed you!

Steve is up on deck today and is a fellow blogger. I don’t remember how I stumbled across Steve’s blog some time back, but he delivers some really funny and often painfully honest commentary on his personal dating life. I think it was probably his Craigslist All Stars Posts (One, Two, Three and Four, um, I guess Three again, but a different post). He has this thing where he photoshops pictures to go along with his blog and the end result is generally really funny. He’s also self-deprecating, which I love. If you can’t make fun of yourself, really… How are you going to make fun of other people? That’s my motto anyway.

ANYWAY, Steve posted recently about getting a Dating Coach. Apparently, she used to edit profiles for a dating site and I guess that makes her an expert…? I dunno. I tweeted to Steve that he should submit to Sunday Showcase because I think you guys should be able to help him with his personal ad more so than this other chick with a blog she rarely updates. Ahem. Sorry, my hater-dar is beep-beep-beeping.

ANYWAY (part deux), here’s Steve’s profile on Match.com.

For those of you who aren’t up to speed on how Sunday Showcase works, here’s the gist: This area is something of a snark-free zone. It takes a bit leap to share your personal ad with the world and open yourself up to criticism from complete strangers from all over the world. So, if you’ve got input for Steve, try to find a way to phrase it in a constructive manner. If you don’t play nice on these posts, I have no beef blocking your ability to comment on the blog as a whole. I am fiercely protective of my Showcasers.

Here he is:

I think it’s a pretty good profile. The Online Wing Woman suggested that he’s too smiley in his pictures which I just found… I mean, kind of hysterical. In one of Steve’s posts, he mentioned this and said: “I couldn’t find a single photo of me not smiling. This might be an issue, apparently.” I couldn’t disagree with this more — if you are a smiley person and you’re happy and cheerful, your pictures should communicate that. Now, if you’re secretly an emo joker who cuts his arms and wears long sleeves and bright smiles to cover up your deep, dark sadness… Then perhaps smiley pictures are misleading. But from what I know of Steve from reading his blog and following his Twitter/Facebook feeds, he’s a cheerful guy with a successful career, a heart for volunteering, and a great group of friends that he enjoys spending time with. Sounds happy to me. Why hide that?

The Online Wing Woman also suggested he read The Game.[heavy fucking sigh] Seriously… I will never understand. Dating is about experiences — not about reading books to learn the rules. GO. DATE. LIVE! What you think you know about the opposite sex is often thrown right out the window on your next partner. People are all different and trying to build a formula that will work on everyone across the board is insulting. To me, at least.

I think this is a good profile — you learn about who he is and how he spends his time. He touches on what he’s seeking, but doesn’t dwell. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, which I think makes people feel at ease.

Steve, I have no idea why online dating hasn’t been successful for you, pal. Maybe it’s where you live? Don’t let your appearance as a “nice guy” discourage you — from my experience, nice guys don’t have a good time dating in their twenties because bitches are obsessed with bad boys. But it won’t be long before women will see how great it is to date a nice guy.

My name is Emily, and I’m Jami’s pocket tech-geek. The new server is mine all mine and I love it with a white-hot fiery passion. It gives me the opportunity to step into situations like that and say “Censorship? I don’t THINK so. I’ve been with Date Wrecks from the very beginning, but now I stepped from behind the curtain here.

My main reason for stepping out? Well, I’m older than Jami – I’m 39. You would think that my wrecks would be few and far between, right?

WRONG.

Wrecks are wrecks and unfortunately age just means he’s learned to not be a complete douchebag until the *third* date as opposed to right out of the gate. (Usually. You’ll most definitely hear about the ones who are STILL idiots.)

I’m only on OKCupid right now; I don’t have the time, patience or inclination to deal with douchebaggery from more than one site at the moment. Therefore, peep muh provile (spelling DEFINITELY intended!)

EmPossibility

39 / F / straight / Single

Kernersville, North Carolina

My Self-Summary

The rallying cry of MOMMY!!!!! fills the house as I walk in from work. Oranges and apples repose on a pillow after a long day of feeding a sick (stuffed) elephant. Laundry sits in the basket, while the washer and dryer do their thing, waiting for me to finish writing this profile.

At the moment, there are 7 tabs open, three IM conversations, TweetDeck, and my phone just pinged with a text. I pretty much live on my laptop for a few hours a day, but am horrible at backing up and generally decrapifying it. I’ve read the “how to hack your Wii” handbook, but haven’t implemented it yet (Buying a wii – $250. Buying games – $40 each. Backing them up to an external drive so they won’t get scratched – Priceless)

If I’m at home, I’m barefoot. If the kids are in bed, I might just be enjoying a glass of wine.

Opinion, Expressed:

Pictures of children do NOT belong on a dating site. I don’t care if it’s your kid, your brother’s cousin’s best friend’s neighbor’s kid you borrowed for a photo op to show how nicely you play.

Just don’t do it.

I’m one of THOSE women

Please please please step away from the ellipsis. I would rather stab myself in the eyeball than read another message full of dotdotdots.

Also, grammar and proper spelling are sexy.

What I’m doing with my life

Reading – online and off.

Writing – for two websites and homework (when I get back to school, that is.)

Working – In addition to having a 38.5 hour workweek, I’m “the man of the house”. There are renovations underway, landscaping being planned, and organization FINALLY taking hold.

Raising kids – (self explanatory)

Feeding dogs and cat.

Taking pictures of treed raccoons and other interesting things.

Looking for the latest and greatest open source/free software.

Cooking bacon and then making a deconstructed BLT with it.

Taking the road less travelled (and yeah, it really HAS made all the difference).

I’m really good at

being me.

The first things people usually notice about me

Sass is one of the many services I offer.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Books: Oranges are not the Only Fruit. The Secret Life of Bees. The Handmaid’s Tale. HHGTTG. Almost anything by Spider Robinson and Terry Pratchett. I started out loving the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind, but lost that lovin’ feelin’ after about the fourth book. Formulaic and preachy, complete with 17 page descriptions on how to move by instinct (guuuuuuuh)

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Princess Bride. The Matrix (but JUST the first one). Labyrinth. The Dark Crystal. Kung Fu Panda. Up.

Spongebob: Jellyfish Jam. Watch it. Dance.

You’re welcome

Food: hummus, beef & snow peas, sesame chicken, falafel, all beef hotdogs (love Nathan’s and Hebrew Nat’l) all the way. Moravian chicken pie. Potato chips. (OK, I’m just as likely to eat the chips and skip the sandwich. Ssssh. I like it like that.)

Music: top 40, classical piano and cello, children laughing.

The six things I could never do without

My children (that’s three)

good food

good wine

good conversation

I spend a lot of time thinking about

whether or not I can handle going back to school to finish my degree.

how to get everything done without feeling like I’ve been whupped by professionals at the end of the day.

On a typical Friday night I am

At work. At home. Doing laundry. At the movies with my sons.

You should message me if

You’re a brave soul

Oh, I just adore Emily. I will say — and Emily and I have talked about this in the past — she needs more pictures. I do love this picture of her because it sums her up in her up nicely — halo, anyone? *snort* But, you need more pictures Emily. For reals. Come down and see me in ‘lanna and I’ll take your pictures.

And holy shit – I caught a spelling mistake. Go find you nearest church and pray your soul into heaven, because I think the world is about to end. Jami.found.a.spelling.mistake. (and it wasn’t mine!) Sweet Jebus.

And since Emily didn’t plug her own blog here, I’m'a gunna.

Sunday Showcase is a weekly series intended to de-wreckify online dating. I know I’m normal… There’s got to be other normal folks out there right? All profiles listed in the Sunday Showcase are submitted by Date Wrecks readers. They’re not necessarily FOR everyone, but we can all agree that their profiles are well-written, descriptive, informative and, sometimes, even a little funny. Clever is good — real good. Full description of the rules for Sunday Showcase can be found here. If you’d like your profile to be featured on Sunday Showcase — of if you know you’re a regular, non-creepy person, and would like help in making it better — email me. Contact form is at the top of the page.