IM ATTARCTIVE MALE HERE WANT TO HAVE SEX – m4w – 29 (SOUTH SCRANTON)

HEY I WANT TO FUCK A WAMAN ALLDAY AND MAKE HER CUM AND LICK HER ASS AND HER PUSSY CLEAN I WANT TO FUCK SO HARD IN IIN A WAMN ASS SO HER BUT CAN GET BIG I WANT TO DRIP DROP A STRAWBERRY IN HER MOUTH AND MAKE HER KISS ME ALL NIGHT WITH HER TONGUE RAVASHING MY TONGUE AND THROAT I WANT HER TOO BEND OVER I WHILE I SLAP HER ASS AND USE NY TONGUE UP AND DOWN IN HER ASS AND PUSSY HOLE I WANT TO FUCK UNTIL SHE HAVE A BIGWATERFALL CUMMING DOWN MY 10INCHES FEMALES PLEASE COME AND GET ME IM AMAZING AND YOU WILL NEVER FOR GET MY SEX DRIVES THAT WAS INSIDE OF YOU

If you’re brave, click this link. It’s not safe for work, but it is HILARIOUS.

And after that, I’m not really sure what else I can say… Except that I’m not going to be able to look at, much less EAT a Mr. Goodbar ever again.

No, I’m not a doctor. But I’ve had a lot of sex and gone on a lot of dates. Eventually, I’d like to make this a weekly series, but to start, I’ll just be fielding your questions as they come in.

Use the contact form or email me with your questions. Thanks guys!

Don’t get me wrong — I think I’d like to have children again… One day. Eventually. Like, down the road a bit. I’m only 28 – I’ve got twelve solid years left on my baby factory warranty, so I’m in no rush. Being a mother at 21 and then a single mother at 22 has been plenty, thankyouverymuch. I’m going to have to be thoroughly convinced of my partner’s worth and intentions on sticking around through thick and thin before I let any little swimmers find my golden eggs.

But this guy… This 22 year old man who likely works as a census taker or something like that… He drives a hard bargain.

Looking to get a girl pregnant-URGENT – 22 (Waukesha)

Hi I’m Dustin. I’m 5′ 8″, just shy of 200 caring lbs. I currently work for the government which means good job security and equals good child/health benefits. So yes I do have a job. I want to become a father. I’m willing to take whatever to accomplish my goal. I am a very hard working guy. My main goal to become a father within the next month. My mother said I shouldn’t do this but I am REALLY in need of a kid. We don’t even have to have SEX! Thats the good part. I can just please myself and put in the white stuff into your private parts in hopes of you getting you preggers (haha, preggers). If you would feel comfortable, I can take you to some place in the mall to get some chicken sandwiches and a Dr. Pepper or something. Please send a pic.

Surely, a man who calls his semen “white stuff” and has the modesty to call my vajay “private parts” understands all the biology and such involved in making a baby, right? He’s well informed. And he’s willing to “take whatever” to make this happen guys! Personally, I’d like to give him a horse tranquilizer before I castrate him. This is not how you make a family, reject!

Even if you’re offering up Chik-fil-A & Dr Pepper.

Wait, c’mon. Who am I kidding? This DATE WRECKS. Just ahead, a really terrible erotic story about Batman & Alfred (who turns out to be a total cockslut!)

alm0ndsic

25 / M / Straight / Single

Brandon, Florida

My Self Summary

Bruce Wayne sighed as he closed the doors of his sleek batmobile and trudged into the batcave. Alfred suddenly flanked him on his right with the usual cup of tea and jolly smile.

“Master Wayne, seems like you skipped out on sleeping again last night. Do you have any idea what time it is?” Alfred’s eye were pierce, questioning, and deeply worrying. Bruce dodged his glare and stepped aside.

“Alfred, you wouldn’t understand. I wasn’t out tackling villains last night… I was trying to tackle Rachel. She’s still avoiding getting frisky with me. I… I haven’t made love in forever Alfred,” Bruce blurted, and cocked his head to the side, slumping in his batbed.

Alfred nudged up beside him and set down his tea tray.

“Master Wayne, are you telling me Batman has not gotten frisky for a while? That’s laughable!” Alfred smiled and gave Bruce a nudge.

“Shut up Alfred! I’m so busy fighting villains that I haven’t been fighting the villains that matter most: the villains in my heart…” His voice trailed off, leaving an odd silence in the batbedroom. Bruce grabbed his batmirror and started checking out his batteeth. “Maybe it has something to do with my teeth. Do you think I should get this gingivitis shit looked at?”

“Master Wayne, perhaps women aren’t attracted to you because… you have other inner villains.” Alfred offered. Bruce laughed and gave an incredulous look to him.

“What are you suggesting Alfred? What other internal villains am I keeping?” He now focused fully on the old man, noticing something slightly odd in his posture.

“Master Bruce, I’m suggesting that you mean need to come out of the batcloset.” The room went cold, colder than a cold night in Gotham with Mr. Freeze making lots of things very cold.

“Alfred… are you saying I’m gay?! Jesus man… I… I don’t know what to say.” Bruce stammered and Alfred sat up and put his finger on his lips. Batman stared back as Alfred looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, “Why so serious?”

Alfred’s lips wrapped around Bruce’s thin lips as he shoved the tea tray off the batbed. Bruce Wayne tried desperately to recoil but soon found himself enticed by the old man’s wicked thrashing of his tongue, sliding around the edges of his mouth and playfully dancing with his own. Bruce ripped off his batsuit and shredding his mask, when Alfred switched to his ear and nibbled while whsipering, “Keep the mask on.”

Alfred fell on top of Bruce on the batbed and began to kiss Bruce’s chiseled chest and slide his tongue down to his rock-hard cock. “Alfred… I don’t know if I can… ohhhh lord.” Bruce began to moan as Alfred skillfully took Batman’s batcock into his mouth and began slowly teasing and sucking.

“Mmm… oh sweet fucking LORD Alfred, where did you learn this?!” Bruce looked down in astonishment and ecstasy. Alfred smiled and replied, “Many long nights alone with the batdog.”

Bruce ignored the odd response and felt his batcock tightening up now as he started holding onto Alfred’s thin sheets of white hair, rippling his body up into Alfred’s warm mouth. Alfred went deeper and deeper, taking in all of the batcock and rolling his tongue around the shaft to make Bruce giggle, as if the Joker had told a funny joke.

Finally, Bruce could feel his batsemen filling up in the batcock, and he whispered, “Oh Alfred, wait… I think I’m gonna…” and before he could finish, erupted batjuice all into Alfred’s waiting mouth. Alfred happily gobbled it all down and stared up at Bruce in lust.

“Master Wayne, the day is still young. I think you should put aside your previous engagements and concentrate on this.” With that, Alfred shook off his butler suit and revealed a throbbing, wrinkly penis. Bruce was sure this was going to be the best “catch” ever!

Oh… My. Nothing gets me hotter than listening to a man ramble off his favorite childhood comic book hero fantasy. Except I’m not sure which character I would have to be when we role-played it later… I think I could probably do a convincing old-man, but lord… I don’t want to be Albert. Not like this.

Please don’t make me do this, Batman.

Also, I don’t read comic books, but I’m pretty sure Bruce Wayne wouldn’t giggle. EVAR. Not even if he was hiding his batcloset. [I actually cringed as I typed that!]

And, since he ended on a high note, I’m going to do the same thing — ‘cept, my brain is full of bat-isms, so all I can come up with is copying him. I bid you adieu with “throbbing, wrinkly penis.” Good night, folks.

playgirl1957

52 / F / Straight / Single

Manchester, Connecticut

I am sexy, sensual and hot.

My Self-Summary

i AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX. I CAN GET THAT ANYTIME I WANT. I AM LOOKING FOR A BOY FREIND THAT LIKE SEX AS MUCH AS I DO
I am a sexy sensual Italian women seeking a man. looking to be seduced by a gentleman that knows how to respect a woman and yet give me sexy and sensual and hard rough sex at the same time. I will host you when you come over unless you want me to come over your place, when you come over the lights will be off as we touch, caress, kiss, and lick every part of each other. I live alone in my own place, I am single, I am very clean, I have no diseases, I am above all very Discreet if you need me to be and expect you to be so too. I am 5 5about 188 lbs and I can use that weight to slam into you just as hard and deep as you need it, I have bluel eyes, soft hands to better hold and cup your body and soft hands to grip you hard you need me too i ,have been told, very kissable lips that enjoy long deep passionate french kisses and is very good at oral sex or so I have been told, a well wants that lasts longer than 5 minutes and the cock gets hot and shoots cum even hotter. I have a high sex drive, I enjoy sex, I fall asleep wanting sex, needing sex and I wake in the morning wanting sex again. You will find the experience pleasurable exciting unique and rare.

What I’m doing with my life

working. having fun

I’m really good at

loving My man. taking care of all his needs and mine

The first things people usually notice about me

my tits

The six things I could never do without

sex
love
food
housing
kissing

I spend a lot of time thinking about

sex

On a typical Friday night I am

playing with myself

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I have not found Mr Right, just Mr wrong.

You should message me if

looking or a LTR